Yes, we have officially entered the penis and vagina phase. I was wondering when this time would come. And now it has. You know, the phase where your tiny human, in my case, a boy, discovers that his anatomy looks different from his mommy’s. Yes, Mason, you have a penis. No Mason, mommy doesn’t have a penis. This has led to all sorts of fun conversations, most of which usually result in me screaming for my husband. “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaason, you need to deal with this!
I really don’t even know where to begin with this. I don’t want to avoid the subject completely, but I don’t want him to walk into school or restaurants screaming PENIS! I don’t want him approaching strangers inquiring what they have down there. And I definitely want him to keep his hands to himself and not down his own pants all the freaking time. Again, “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaason!”
I know that of all the toys he has, his penis will always be his most favorite. It will be that way now at age three. It will be that way ten years from now. And it will certainly be that way thirty years from now. And for that little man, you will just have to talk to your daddy. Because mommy can’t help you much in that department and she doesn’t know that she wants to. I have no problem discussing the subject with adults, but when it comes to a three-year old? No thank you! I don’t think I’m good at that stuff. It’s probably why I wasn’t given a girl, because then I would be the one forced to to talk about penises and vaginas. But I don’t, so “Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaason!”
Mason: Mommy you have a penis?
Me: No Mason, I don’t have a penis.
Mason: What do you have down there Mommy?
Me: Mommy has a vagina.
Mason: A gina? What’s a gina?
Me: It’s what mommy has.
Me: Mason, I really have to go inside and go potty.
Mason: You have pee pee in your tennis?
Me: My what?
Mason: You have pee pee in your tennis.
Me: Oh you mean my vagina.
Mason: Yea, your gina.
Mason: Mommy what’s down there?
Me: I told you it’s called a vagina.
Mason: I touch your gina?
Me: No Mason, we never touch anyone down there.
Mason: Can you make me a gina?
Me: No Mason, I can’t make you a vagina.
Mason: Okay, I can draw one on a paper.
Mason: Daddy, mommy has pee pee in her tennis.
Daddy: Her what?
Me: J, he means vagina. Mason, say vagina.
Daddy: Jen, he doesn’t need to know the word right now.
Me: I don’t want him mispronouncing it.
Mason: Mommy, you have pee pee in your ginus?
Me: Okay Mason, ginus works for now.