Ode to Chick-fil-A

I’ll admit it. I had never heard of Chick-fil-A until moving south. It took me about three years of living here to even go to one. And I don’t know why because it’s awesome! And people down here love their Chick-fil-A chicken. They eat that shit for breakfast. In New York we eat bagels and cream cheese or scrambled eggs or avocado toast. Maybe a smoothie or some oatmeal pancakes and fruit. Down here? Biscuits, gravy, and chicken nuggets. And since this is the Bible Belt, they are closed on Sundays. Sunday is for church. Could you imagine a bagel shop closed on a Sunday in New York? They would go out of business! And do you know what the best form of birth control ever is? Chick-fil-A between the hours of 3pm and 4pm on a school day. It’s Mecca for moms and their screaming, starving, hyperactive, not wanting to go home and do homework complaining children. Thank God for drive-thru right? Well…

Today is Martin Luther King Day, which really means ugh, my kid doesn’t have school today. My kid doesn’t have school and my nanny doesn’t come on Mondays. What the eff am I going to do with my toddler all day? Luckily for us Jews in the South, the JCC stays open and so does the babysitting room. Since I can only workout for so long, what do I do after this? Of course. Let’s go to Chick-Fil-A! Drive-thru of course.

Have you ever been to the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru in the South at lunchtime? Cars line up all the way into the main roads. And these are adults, getting lunch for themselves. You would think that your chicken sandwich comes with a side of stripper! I should have remembered this when I had the bright idea to take my little one there today. I couldn’t even get into the drive-thru line. It was backed up from all angles. Cars trying to get in from every direction. The line was so long, they had people walking up to car windows and taking orders in person.

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