Dethroning Your Inner Critic With Joanna Kleinman – Is The Queen Of Chaos Driving The Bus?

Do you ever wish that you could just take a vacation from your mind?

Do you wish that you had an “on-off” switch on the side of your head that you could turn off your worry about the future, your regrets of the past, the things you keep telling yourself over and over that you need to work on or change?

Our mind, the Queen of Chaos, can literally drive us crazy.  We live in a culture that fosters an overactive mind, that creates worry, frustration, dissatisfaction, sleeplessness, and a feeling that no matter what life we have, something (or many things!) about our life needs to be different. It is as though our minds create a war inside of us, and we think that the way to peace is through continuing to examine what we need to change, how we need to improve, or we fixate on changing or improving someone else, like our spouse or our kids!

The bottom line is this:  We will never feel the content, joy, love and satisfaction that we want to feel in our lives by remaining at war with ourselves.

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Dethroning Your Inner Critic With Joanna Kleinman – The One You Feed

There is an old Cherokee Indian legend that illustrates the battle between US and our INNER CRITIC beautifully.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” 

He continued, “The other is good–he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.” 

“The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

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Dethroning Your Inner Critic With Joanna Kleinman – Who Are You Really?

All of us think we have some idea of who we really are. We may be a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. We may be a teacher, a doctor, an office worker, or a stay at home mom. We may have been told that we are fun, funny, a good listener, and kind. We may have been told that we are cold, selfish, controlling, judgmental. It runs the gamut.

Where did our sense of self come from? Primarily from our thinking…a collection of thoughts about our selves. Our thoughts about ourselves include who we think we are, and what other people tell us. We have developed an identity from our childhood experiences, our ideas from our parents and siblings, and from our culture.

What we often fail to realize, is that who we think we are, actually begins when we are first figuring out the world around us, and how people in our world relate to us. As a child, we don’t have an understanding of how the world works. The beginnings of our sense of who we are, and who we are not, start to take shape when we are about three or four years old. That’s pretty scary when you think about it! Our three and four year-old selves are starting to form opinions about how important we are, how loved we are, whether we are smart enough, how much we think we matter to others. And not only are these beliefs becoming a solid part of our sense of self, but it is these early beliefs that will play a huge role in almost every aspect of our lives, from our self esteem, to the people we choose to be in relationships with. And it all starts around three years old. Yikes!

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Five Steps To Dethrone Your Crazy “Bad Mom” Inner Critic

I’m calling November Inner Critic Month–because we all have one–and she can be a raging bitch. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to punch mine in the face on most days, if I could only just stop listening to her so much. Last month, I was fortunate enough to meet the amazing Joanna Kleinman, psychotherapist and mom of three, who works with women to silence their inner critics once and for all. For the next four Mondays at The Medicated Mommy, Joanna will be sharing her tips for how to silence yours. And she is starting with motherhood! Make sure you subscribe below so you don’t miss any of her incredibly valuable advice!

FIVE STEPS TO DETHRONE YOUR CRAZY “BAD MOM” INNER CRITIC:

I have been waiting for the premier of Bad Moms all summer long. I have heard fellow moms talking about it for months, rallying packs of moms together to see this movie. So, I was so excited when I finally went to see it last week. I wanted to find out why it is that this movie is resonating with so many women in a way that no movie has done in years.

This movie really hit home for me, as a therapist who has helped thousands of moms struggle with feelings of guilt and inadequacy, and as a mom of three kids. It also hits home with millions of moms out there who struggle with the feeling that they have no idea what they are doing, and they are not doing a good enough job.

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