#Momlife – I Live to Fight Another Day

Motherhood is really fucking hard, but I always live to fight another day.

Motherhood is a shit show most of the time, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood builds me up and beats me down, often at the same time, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood makes me feel like both a rockstar and a failure, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is the constant struggle between doubt, fear, and confidence where doubt and fear usually have the upper hand, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is when going to the bathroom alone is not a privilege I am entitled to anymore, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is when taking a shower each day is a huge accomplishment, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is waking up in the middle of the night when I hear my son crying while my husband snores right through it and I want to throat punch him, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is missing my old life before kids, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is sometimes wanting to run away to the land of sleeping late and doing what I want when I want, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is having to be responsible for my child when I still feel like a child myself, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is waking up and saying, “I really don’t want to adult today,” but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is trying to not compare my child to others when he starts talking in full sentences later than other kids do, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is finding my tribe because that’s what it takes for me to survive, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is dealing with mom-shamers, sanctimommies, and breastfeeding nazis, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is conversations with girlfriends changing from talking about dating and sex to discussing the color and texture of poop, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is coming in to the kitchen to find my son eating candy at 9 am and not stopping him or caring because you know…vacation, but I live to fight another day..

Motherhood is always needing vacation after my vacation, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is taking my sand covered son into the shower where he pees on me and thinks it’s hilarious, but I live to fight another day…

Motherhood is silencing my child with an iPad at the restaurant because I just want to eat my meal in peace, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is realizing sometimes the best babysitter is the television, especially on sick or hangover days, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is meal time for my son consisting of goldfish, veggie sticks, and a slice of cheese, but at least he ate some protein. And I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is Chick-fil-A for dinner and skipping bath time because I’m just too tired, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is counting the hours and minutes until my son’s bedtime, so I can pretend I live alone with my husband for just a few hours, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is sometimes wanting to go out with my girls, drink, dance, and feel like I’m back in college for the night, where the most important thing was my outfit and if the bar would accept my fake I.D., but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is choosing sleep over sex, which ultimately leaves all parties frustrated, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is wondering how all moms of two and three year olds don’t turn into overweight alcoholics with too many shoes, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is wishing that liquor stores had drive thru, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is a sea of toys that I’m always tripping over and screaming “fuck you” at, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is guilt that I am somehow going to mess up my son, forcing him to spend tons of money on therapy, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is the never-ending worry that something bad will happen to my child who I love so much it can be hard to breath, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is dueling feelings of the excitement of going away without my child and desperately missing him when I leave, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is loving being my son’s mommy and not always wanting to be his parent, but I live to fight another day.

Motherhood is also hanging with my son and pretending to be guitar players in a rock band, building the tallest towers, singing show tunes, and dancing in the kitchen. Watching him run to get his tools when the contractor comes to fix something in the house. Seeing him want to help with and understand how to do everything by himself. Listening to him say please and thank you. Seating his daddy at the “restaurant” (our couch and coffee table) while wearing his chef costume, preparing and serving him a five course meal, then making him pay for it. The smile on his face whenever he sees me. The snuggles while watching movies in bed together.

Motherhood is putting my son to sleep at night and him asking for two hugs, three kisses, and telling me he loves me to the moon and back.

And I live to fight another day, because it’s worth fighting for–he’s worth fighting for–I’m worth fighting for.

 

Comments

comments